A memo to all minions.

While I do love to watch you strive to please me, arguments over who loves me more are as unproductive as they are gratifying.

Fighting over who serves me best is a charming way to express your devotion, but when it cuts into my tummy-tickling time it will not be tolerated.

Remember, all of my loyal minions are equally valued and equally expendable.


I'm a little peeved to have missed Mascherata.

As much as I currently dislike going among the unwashed masses, I am told that the queues reached new heights. Also I note that the weather machine has been recalibrated.

I'll probably steal it. Since moving North mine has stuck on 'Muggy'. If there isn't a change soon, I may have to have someone shot.

Maelstrom II

Once again I am undecided.

It is a fertile recruiting ground for disaffected minions, but I have only just begun to feel clean from the last time I was out in public.

I did enjoy my journey north though. The weapons here are conveniently all in the same place, and not very heavily guarded at all.


I'm still undecided. All this talk of reducing the queues in GOD to me removes the point in going. I like to watch people queue!

It at least better rain heavily and constantly.

Saying that, if bacony is doing tea, she might have a spare saucer I can use.

(no subject)

Clearly the orbital mind control lasers need refocussing.

In other news - did anyone else find Elrond's "I'm pimping my daughter - ravish her here in front of me" look from Return of the King a bit seedy?

He's left me behind!

The bastard. I've been abandoned and not taken to Oxford. I'll have to amuse myself by watching that inspirational video again - you know the one of Gollum at the MTV awards. Wonderful stuff. Once he escapes his celluloid prison he'll make a wonderful after-dinner speaker or cult leader.

Hmmm, an evil cult - that could make money and provide a fertile recruitment ground for nameless security goons minions.
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    aggravated aggravated

Femme Fatales

It's been a busy couple of months. At least, I assume I was busy - I'm suffering what my psychiatrist calls "Super Villian Amnesia". He wasn't sure what the cause or the cure was, so I had him assassinated with a playing card. Some of you might even get the reference. I wonder if it was pax_draconis and his hangover channelling.

I was amused yesterday to watch Animal Farm on the flashing-picture-box and see the inept attempts of pigs to rule the world. I mean - who'd want to get close to them for a tickle?

None of my current evil plots seem to have any news coverage, except that I've decided to stop slowly introducing paralysis toxin into dreamfire's diet as she said something nice about my just_writing. Very constructive. I shall set my moleman army on the task of making improvements.

More evil soon, and I hope to have some new recruits shortly - Scurrilous seems like the right sort - as is ephraim-when-drunk. Am also considering sneaking in someone's fur hat to Sinergy however feel there is a real risk dreamfire will attempt to fire me out of a torpedo tube.
  • Current Music
    VNV Nation - Fiume (v2)

(no subject)

miss_soap has come up with a great idea for extracting people's personal information, so I've decided that in order to fund my evil empire I'll persuade people into giving me all their credit card details.

Tragically I'm thwarted by not being able to create a poll on this account - so I have stolen access to kneeshooter's journal and put it there...

Go on - fill it in - you know you want to. Trust the Computer, the Computer is your friend.
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    naughty naughty


Lost - One White Cat.

If found please return to evil lair so plotting to end the world can continue.

Thank you.
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