Number Two

A memo to all minions.

2004-11-15T19:20:19Z

While I do love to watch you strive to please me, arguments over who loves me more are as unproductive as they are gratifying.

Fighting over who serves me best is a charming way to express your devotion, but when it cuts into my tummy-tickling time it will not be tolerated.

Remember, all of my loyal minions are equally valued and equally expendable.

Amusement

2004-07-29T21:13:00Z

I'm a little peeved to have missed Mascherata.

As much as I currently dislike going among the unwashed masses, I am told that the queues reached new heights. Also I note that the weather machine has been recalibrated.

I'll probably steal it. Since moving North mine has stuck on 'Muggy'. If there isn't a change soon, I may have to have someone shot.

Maelstrom II

2004-07-21T22:59:20Z

Once again I am undecided.

It is a fertile recruiting ground for disaffected minions, but I have only just begun to feel clean from the last time I was out in public.

I did enjoy my journey north though. The weapons here are conveniently all in the same place, and not very heavily guarded at all.

Maelstrom

2004-04-07T13:10:07Z

I'm still undecided. All this talk of reducing the queues in GOD to me removes the point in going. I like to watch people queue!

It at least better rain heavily and constantly.

Saying that, if bacony is doing tea, she might have a spare saucer I can use.

naughtywhitecat @ 2003-12-21T14:24:00

2003-12-21T14:24:54Z

Clearly the orbital mind control lasers need refocussing.

In other news - did anyone else find Elrond's "I'm pimping my daughter - ravish her here in front of me" look from Return of the King a bit seedy?

As the sign says...

2003-11-08T11:16:29Z

He's left me behind!

2003-07-07T15:52:21Z

The bastard. I've been abandoned and not taken to Oxford. I'll have to amuse myself by watching that inspirational video again - you know the one of Gollum at the MTV awards. Wonderful stuff. Once he escapes his celluloid prison he'll make a wonderful after-dinner speaker or cult leader.

Hmmm, an evil cult - that could make money and provide a fertile recruitment ground for nameless security ~~goons~~ minions.

Femme Fatales

2003-06-23T21:21:17Z

It's been a busy couple of months. At least, I assume I was busy - I'm suffering what my psychiatrist calls "Super Villian Amnesia". He wasn't sure what the cause or the cure was, so I had him assassinated with a playing card. Some of you might even get the reference. I wonder if it was pax_draconis and his hangover channelling.

I was amused yesterday to watch Animal Farm on the flashing-picture-box and see the inept attempts of pigs to rule the world. I mean - who'd want to get close to them for a tickle?

None of my current evil plots seem to have any news coverage, except that I've decided to stop slowly introducing paralysis toxin into dreamfire's diet as she said something nice about my just_writing. Very constructive. I shall set my moleman army on the task of making improvements.

More evil soon, and I hope to have some new recruits shortly - Scurrilous seems like the right sort - as is ephraim-when-drunk. Am also considering sneaking in someone's fur hat to Sinergy however feel there is a real risk dreamfire will attempt to fire me out of a torpedo tube.

naughtywhitecat @ 2003-05-21T14:31:00

2003-05-21T12:32:02Z

miss_soap has come up with a great idea for extracting people's personal information, so I've decided that in order to fund my evil empire I'll persuade people into giving me all their credit card details.

Tragically I'm thwarted by not being able to create a poll on this account - so I have stolen access to kneeshooter's journal and put it there...

Go on - fill it in - you know you want to. Trust the Computer, the Computer is your friend.

Lost.

2003-05-14T08:31:50Z

Lost - One White Cat.

If found please return to evil lair so plotting to end the world can continue.

Thank you.

Responsibility

2003-05-07T12:02:57Z

I'd just like to make it clear that I in no way was involved in lupercal's exploits over the last couple of days. Mothers are very precious and generally good sucking, so should not be damaged in any way,

Anyway, I was somewhere in the north after having been catnapped by boglin.

I am he who is X Y and Zee

2003-04-29T11:13:59Z

Psycho. You are overwhelmed by anger. You may even
hate the world and everything in it and you
believe revenge is the way of the world. An eye
for an eye.

How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Whispers

2003-04-27T02:35:17Z

Tonight I mostly spent whispering in lupercal's ear. He was a good boy and has attempted to kill dreamfire by poisoning her with Vodka.

He was almost successul as she has been kissing porcelain on a number of occasions.

I still need a wash.

Photos from LRP:

Reading the plot documents:

With my minions pax_draconis and ephraim:

naughtywhitecat @ 2003-04-24T20:42:00

2003-04-24T19:42:27Z

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	naughtywhitecat User Number: 1007995 Date Created:16/04/2003 Number of Posts: 3
Number Two is an evil genius. He enjoys nuclear physics and teasing goths. He likes being stroked.
Strengths: Spreading evil. Faking weapons of mass destruction. Manipulating people.
Weaknesses: Saucers of Vodka-Martini, shaken - not stirred.
Special Skills: Being stroked, abosrbing affection.
Weapons: Orbital mind control lasers. Cute furry appearance.
Before I kill you Mr. Bond?: Just tickle me there - yes - behind my left ear.

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On request...

2003-04-24T18:14:25Z

No cheating involved - I don't need to with tests like this...

I am 94% Evil

With a style rating of 95%

There is evil here with sufficient style to look cool

Test created by Jamie - take it here.

Suggestion to do it was from nyarbaggytep

Tired and Grubby

2003-04-22T13:09:28Z

I don't mind saying that I'm a bit exhausted. I thought that a perfectly good place to go and cause some havok would be at an LRP event, so I stowed along in a box of LRP kit (smelly!) and then set out to ruin peoples' weekends and twist them to my cause.

Alas, my memory kind of fades after about Friday night - when I found pax_draconis and ephraim in the bar. Despite persistent mewing I didn't get the saucer of vodka martini (shaken, not stirred) I wanted - so I had their characters killed later in the night. I was with them, watching! Ha! They'll not cross me again. I was amused to note on Saturday that pax_draconis had even dressed as a cat to attempt to placate me. Some photos later in the week perhaps.

Other than that I don't remember a lot, but my fur is very grubby at the moment so I need fussing and washing. Somebody did try to hang me again at one point, and sixtine said she didn't like me - which I thought was very rude.

Meow!

2003-04-16T22:00:15Z

Now my evil plans take a step furtherforward. It seems that after all the attention I had at the 80s night in Whitby this last weekend I have managed to secure a space on the guest list at the next BMovie. All I need to do now is convince kneeshooter to go dressed as my parrot - unless there are any other takers?

For today's evil I have been encouraging Dubya to invade Syria. The potential for further destabilisation in the Middle East can only make more recruits for my evil causes. Now, what shall I name my new evil organisation... I shall however continue plotting against _mrx_ who made me spend an entire night upside down suspended from my tail...